Added: Desarae Gwin - Date: 25.04.2022 23:44 - Views: 47109 - Clicks: 2711
It can be an exhilarating experience. For many couples, moving in together is just that inevitable next step in a prolonged courtship. Which is fine. What may just seem like a 6-month lease to you might be the precursor to walking down the aisle for her. Many married couples will tell you that moving in together is actually a bigger deal than getting married. Moving in creates a huge shift in the mechanics of your daily life and your relationship. Call me old fashioned, but to be safe, only move in with a woman who you could see yourself marrying…and staying with.
When you decide to shack up with your girlfriend, you might be tempted to move into her apartment or yours. Try to avoid this if you can. First of all, it eliminates the potential for one person to feel like a guest in their own home. The only difference now is that she has a set of keys and can store her stuff there. What are you thinking!!?
That shelf is for my ironic mug collection! Starting fresh in a new apartment allows you to take equal ownership of the space from the get-go. And it allows you to envision the space together. Some couples think once they start sharing a bed, they should share a bank .
Beware, this is a recipe for disaster. We each kept our own checking s, but we set up a third t to share. Then we figured out a rough estimate budget—and each of us puts a set amount in each month to cover those regular monthly shared items like rent, toilet paper, groceries, utilities, etc. It may seem obvious, but a critical part of figuring out your shared budget is to align your lifestyles.
While it may seem unromantic, having an honest conversation upfront about your wants and needs and willingness to pay for them can help avoid tons of stress and anger down the line. If there are piles of crusty dishes on the sink, Kyle is slacking off on his dish duties. If I run out of underwear or socks, wifey needs to get the washing machine cranking. For instance, my wife and end up shopping for groceries together pretty regularly.
One of the biggest changes to your relationship when you move in together is that you no longer just see each other on dates or during extended romantic weekends. On a basic level, you end up spending a lot more time together now that you share an address. But most of it is not quality time. Your interactions change: Now instead of seeing you arrive at her door with your hair combed and just the right amount of cologne, she hears you clipping your toenails on the toilet or catches you popping a zit in the bathroom.
But when you move in together, you now have to consciously try to inject romance into your relationship. Get in the habit of setting up date nights—maybe a weekly Wednesday night calendar invite when you both dress up and go out somewhere nice.
Setting up a date night reminds you of why you shacked up in the first place —and that your relationship is more than just about paying bills and watching mindless TV while she does Soduku before waking up for another grueling day at work…. Closely related is the need to make sure you both maintain your sense of self in the relationship. You may initially be tempted to spend all your time with your girlfriend now that you live together.
But as I mentioned above, quality time is more beneficial than quantity of time. And even more importantly, you need to maintain other social outlets.
Be sure to keep the regular touch-points you had with your buddies before you shacked up. When one person in the relationship fails to maintain ties with their social circles, it can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. But when you both have your own separate lives it can relieve the pressure and help you continue to respect and love each other as separate individuals. Make sure you plan time to hit the trails get some cycling in. As with making time for friends, it helps give you both a little positive space.
That way, when you are back together at the end of the day, you both appreciate each other even more. Another thing that happens when you move in with your girlfriend is that communication becomes even more important.
Gone are the single days when you could come and go as you pleased without notifying anyone. Maybe I should let her know. A shared calendar like google Calendar can be a great way to help balance out your social engagements with your girlfriend-time.
Try to address these things quickly and gently. If you are bringing up a potential issue, be careful not to make it sound like a demand or like a judgment on her character.
On rare occasions she may say that there is no possible way she could ever change her behavior. You have to work at it. Use the tips above to help avoid potential stress and make your new living arrangement easier for both of you. Kyle Ingham is the Founder and Editor of The Distilled Man, an online channel that helps everyday guys become well-rounded gentlemen.
Kyle is a husband, new father, blogger, podcaster, and a recovering advertising executive. For the past 7 years, he's been helping men learn the essential skills and knowledge they need to become better, more confident men. Kyle enjoys Bourbon, burritos and the occasional pirate joke. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife and son. You are amazing! What a great article! I once commented on a post of yours and at the time I was single; and you wished me well in my love life and hoped I would find a great guy well I have, and we have moved in together.
He has all the manly and proper qualities, he can cook a steak, mix a cocktail, fix just about anything, and dress like a model ect ect ect I could go on and on. Thank you for your past articles, as they have helped me to really know what I wanted in a man, and thank you for this one.
Because all this stuff works for girls too. I had to wait till I was 50 to find a great guy but it was worth it, thanks again for the roadmap. Wow, Lori! Thank you so much for the kind words. My girlfriend and I want to find a nice apartment so we can move in together at the end of the year. You might also like Paul Churchill: Recovery Elevator. Comments Kyle, You are amazing!Move in girl friend
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8 Things to Consider Before Moving in Together With Your Girlfriend